Workshop on Bullying...a trip down memory lane...

Oh man, was that a good workshop! It was a walk, a painful walk, down memory lane for me! I've rarely been the bully (yea, I admit picking on smaller kids, but it was definitely a rare occasion that this happened: and if it did, it was with new kids who I didn't know that well...), but there were many times that I have been bullied. I've never been the biggest or smallest kid on the block, but I've always had a laid back, pacificist mentality to person confrontation. If I can avoid confrontation, I usually will!

The two bullies that stand out most in my mind are Pat S. in the seventh grade, and Damon L. in the 10th and 11th grades. The worst of the two was Pat: he had set up a devious routine. If I did something wrong or affront him some how, he would assign punches to it. Let's say, I made fun of him somehow, that was worth 10 punches (unless it was an especially good zing, then I got more). I could either accumulate or eliminate my punch count by being bad/annoying or good to him, respectively. It was all very arbitrary anyway. At a certain point, he would decide to cash in his punches and start hitting my upper arm (usually my right). All through seventh grade I had a bruise on my right arm...it really sucked. I don't know why I never stuck up for myself or fought back. He was more popular than I, and I was afraid of the consequences: I didn't want to get detention, grounded, or suspended. Luckily, he moved away and I didn't have to worry about him anymore. Damon was very different, it was more passive aggressive bullying: he was a big black guy and I was his "Koozbaby." In other words, his bitch: but not in the prison way, but in the, "He pretended to like me and flirt with me" to make me feel uncomfortable. It was very disconcerting. I really couldn't stop him because he was twice my size and I didn't want to really want him to snap and beat me up (It wouldn't have been pretty). But then again, others wouldn't mess with me because they didn't want Damon to kick their ass (although I never really tested that theory).

So what did the workshop teach me? Well, that I need to be a bit more assertive in preventing violence and bullying. I wasn't surprised that bullying wasn't necessarily perpetrated by a loner (as my bullies were very popular). At the Science Center, I don't see any bullying amongst the adults, although I am more aware of what forms it could take, and since I work with kids of all sizes, I know I shouldn't use my size as way to influence a kids impression of me. I know I don't consciously do this, but if it's perceived that way, it would be a problem. I do see other kids make fun of each other, and of course, the bigger kids telling the smaller ones what to do: I make sure to politely correct such behavior, but if it's bad, I know to go to his or her chaperone. I also referee at robotics competitions, and I need to make sure I don't come off as aggressive to the participants or their mentors because that's not in the spirit of the robotics competition. And vice versa, I think I'm more aware of students bullying other students in the competition (as opposed to working together or taking good direction from another team member). Overall, the bullying workshop was fantastic and the people who did it knew what they were talking about!